Family Life

Valentines Love

2012-02-14T04:40:00.000-08:00

Embrace the people that you love, appreciate all of the love that saturates your life in all of its forms. Love is the thing that holds us all together even in the hardest of times. Love is the thing that matters the most at the end of the day...and at the end of time.

Take some time today to feel thankful for that very important feeling of love and all that we do to keep and nurture that love. Nurture it even more. It could only bring more happiness.

I am most thankful for these three very special people in my life. They are the wind in my sails. They make me feel perpetually grateful. When difficult times arise they give me more strength. I think it is because love is more powerful than anything.

We normally have a valentines dinner as a family, but today we are serving up a kids dinner at 5 and having a romantic dinner just the two of us in the later hours. We are setting up a small table with good food, candles, wine and of course our love for each other.

Harvest is excited for his school Valentines party. He has valentines for all of his classmates with an organic lollipop folded into each envelope. So precious.

Anyway, happy Valentines day! Don't forget to nurture and embrace that very important feeling of love in your life and feel thankful for those that feel that way for you.

Also equally as important....love yourself. Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself with the same kindness that you give to those very important people in your life that you love the most.

Only 1

2012-02-13T06:27:00.000-08:00

Harvest age 1

Esther age 1

I miss these days...You should see their two year old pictures. They both have soft curls and chubby cheeks. Sigh. They are growing so fast!

Peace, Love and Oatmeal Baths

2012-02-09T14:23:00.000-08:00

I Recently introduced our kids to Oatmeal Baths and they LOVE them! Not only are they great for the skin but they also completely chill them out. We are talking immediate mood change here.

What you need...
1 old sock
a couple scoops of rolled oats
lavender and calendula flours (or you can even skip these!)

Scoop the oats and dried flowers into the sock and pull the sock over the bath faucet as you fill the bath up. The water should pour right through that sock. As you fill, squeeze the sock and let the white oat milk blend right in with that bath. The water will be whitish in color (with a blue tinge if you use lavender). It smells and feels amazing. I have been tying a knot on the end of the sock and letting the kids squeeze and play with it in the bath. The white milk that comes out is almost never ending.

This bath blend is also a wonderful experience for tired parents.

Anyway, enjoy!

Perspective...

2012-02-07T08:25:00.000-08:00

Yesterday evening Andy took about a bazillion pictures outside with the kids, and here are a few of my favorites. I love his perspective. I must add that a couple of these were edited by me on our computer to sharpen them and add some extra color depth.

Beautiful Andy perspective.

An excursion with the Papa...

2012-02-05T05:03:00.000-08:00

I just love all the things that Andy and the kids do while I am at work. Andy is really quite the outdoors man, and he regularly brings the kids on excursions deep in the forest. He ends up getting quite the workout because Esther does the helpless thing. Yesterday he pulled her on a sled through the deep woods also wearing a heavy backpack. He doesn't complain because he loves it.

Harvest wore his snowshoes and got his own little workout.

They built a fire and cooked fish, rice and hot chocolate.

They are creating such beautiful memories together. As much as I would like to join them, I feel so blessed that this is what my family does when I am not around.

Play table, apples and Fox

2012-02-03T06:22:00.000-08:00

After a rough beginning to my morning, I desperately remembered that I had wanted to create a sandbox inspired play table for indoor winter play. We have to be creative in this region of the world, because winters are long and we are not outside as much as we would like to be. I found a shallow bin and much to the children's excitement I began filling it with dried goods. Wheat berries and beans of all kinds. You can use whatever you want! They brought over small bowls and cups, spoons, cars and pine cones. It was very exciting.

I think it will be much more fun as a one kid at a time situation...but they loved it and I am happy to have something so fun and sensory to add to our indoor playthings.

Apples apples apples. These two love to eat apples.

And here is Esther and Fox. Fox is the most mild cat I have ever come across. He lets the kids lug him all over the place whenever they want. I have seen Esther put doll clothes on him and push him around in a stroller. Not only does he put up with it, but he seems to sometimes love the attention. He has never even hurt a fly. Our other kitten, Milky is much more outspoken about his desire for space. He definitely doesn't hesitate to scratch or bite...and it really hurts. So, we let Milk decide when he wants to hang with us or receive affection. He can be really sweet, if it is on his own terms. I assume he will be better at catching mice.

I am just so happy that one of them turned out to be so gentle with kids. We love him so much!

Happy Friday!

Ice Fishing with the Papa...

2012-01-29T06:04:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I worked all day and came home to an empty house. Andy and the kids had gone ice fishing all day and then a party in the evening. The camera was plugged in and these pictures were on the computer when I came home. I feel so thankful that my kids get to have Andy for a dad. They go on so many outdoor adventures. It is just what I would hope my kids are doing when I am not around.

I really should go ice fishing with them sometime. It looks like such a peaceful sport.

Esther, the Sun and Me

2012-01-26T12:16:00.000-08:00

Today the sun warmed our house...joined forces with our wood stove heat and made me hot and sweaty while I did my morning chores. Esther and I had a quiet morning together. She played, I washed dishes. We made flax muffins ...and when we finally got outside we realised it was just like a spring day! She rode her bike and I walked along with her taking in the beauty of the day. A random dog came along...tongue hanging out. He was happy and free.
We decided to have a little tea party on the front porch. Esther Maple is always thrilled about tea. Especially if she gets to do all the pouring.

We both wore our sunglasses and just basked.

Beautiful day. Thank you sun.

Alas...

2012-01-22T05:52:00.000-08:00

Today I am missing our dear friend Summer.

Oh Summer, How I miss you. But alas, It is still January 22.

Not Permanantly Deleted...

2012-01-22T05:22:00.001-08:00

I would like to apologise for deleting the blog...it was not my intention to do away with it. I just had to fix the format and buy more picture space through google.

Thanks so much for your patience! :)

All is well.

His Spirit...

2012-01-19T12:11:00.000-08:00

Again and again I have gone back to reading these and other parenting books...

Oh man, the books. The Indigo Children is a new read, and I don't like it. The one missing from the pile is Buddhism for Mothers. That one has saved me many a short fuse and all of these have given me some perspective. None of them have ever made my role as a mother less stressful. I have Waldorf Parenting books that I like as well, but none of them seem to acknowledge how difficult children can be at times, and how hard it is on everyone. "Be the Sun". Beautiful, but not always realistic.

Harvest has always been what I choose to refer to as, "My Spirited Child." On a day that I am feeling immense stress I might tell you that he is difficult, or defiant, or contrary...extremely intense. I don't like to label him in a negative way, so "spirited" is what I prefer to say when any description is needed at all. We have had our ups and downs for sure...lately we are really digging deep for the nice moments and loving them because most moments with him have been more than hard this week. I would say this about his whole toddler hood and childhood to this point but it would make me cry, so I won't.

This beautiful boy has an incredibly passionate spirit...one that could only be sent to me as a test, a life lesson and a very special gift too. I feel both very blessed and exhausted. I feel very proud, and very worried. I love him so fiercely....just as fiercely as he feels about everything in his world. Much more actually.

Right now my goals are to get through the days and both nurture myself and remain a firm but peaceful guide for both children. This doesn't always happen. When some days are finally over I finally look in the mirror to find a very dishevelled self. Messy hair, eyes tired and bloodshot, flour, food and soot on my clothes and a very sad feeling that I failed that day in being the mother I want to be. I pour a glass of wine and take a bath to nurture myself...tell myself that I can't be perfect and set new goals for the next day. Sometimes I cry, sometimes I can only just laugh.

There is so much that I never could have prepared myself for when I became a mother....not a single person could have prepared me for what was to come. Not because my life is extraordinary, but because it is my unique life as a mother with so many things that make it what it is. It is a mixture of who I am, what I need, who my spouse is, what he needs, who each child is and what they each need...what kind of an environment we live in and what our standards are.

Oh Harvest, you are larger than life. I will never hope to break your beautiful spirit or change you in any way...but I will rejoice when you grow into some of these traits and tame yourself on your own terms. You really are so little still.

Yesterday I heard his little honkish voice say, "Mama, take a picture of us!" I of course grabbed the camera and look at them from the cameras view. Such beautiful love they have for each other and the world around them.

So blessed I am. And tired.

Blueberry Coconut Flour Muffins...

2012-01-16T13:48:00.000-08:00

Today I decided to use my coconut flour to bake something tasty and I settled on these Blueberry muffins.

I am slightly intolerant to wheat...a recent discovery. So, I have not been cooking with any flours at all...I really would prefer to stick with whole foods....except I have learned that coconut flour makes some of the best things. Pancakes even.

Coconut Four Blueberry Muffins (Makes 12 large muffins) I doubled it because six muffins is hardly enough.

6 eggs
6 Tablespoons of melted virgin coconut oil
6 Tablespoons of raw honey
1/4 teaspoon of Almond Extract (I used vanilla)
1/2 teaspoon of sea salt
1/2 cup of coconut flour
1 Teaspoon of Baking Powder (or more if you want them fluffy)
1 Cup of Fresh or Frozen Blueberries

Preheat oven to 400 Degrees

Melt the coconut oil in a pan on the stove on low heat. It melts quickly, so keep an eye.

Blend all ingredients (excepting the berries) in a food processor or blender until smooth.

Fold in the Blueberries

Pour the batter into 12 lined muffin cups.

Bake Until slightly brown on top. The recipe says 16 minutes but mine took more like 22 minutes. Just keep an eye on them and keep feeling the tops.

These are amazing. Only let them cool for a short while. Put butter on the top and enjoy while they are warm. They are fluffy and incredibly delicious with the perfect amount of coconut flavor.

I am feeling very thankful today. Yesterday I was very sick and slept all day. Today I am all better with lots of energy to spare. I am feeling thankful for my quick recovery and for all that we have. As I was helping Andy bring in armful after armful of wood today I didn't feel sorry for myself for having to work hard in the cold. I felt so increbibly thankful that we have enough wood to keep our babies warm all winter.

Peace to all of you that visit me here!

Still Here!

2012-01-10T14:17:00.000-08:00

We are still here, enjoying life. I don't have much to report. We have had lots of cold weather, and I find that the more we hole ourselves up inside the grumpier we become. We need the fresh air and natural elements. For this reason, it has to be REALLY cold to keep us in for the day. We bundle up and stay active sledding, walking, running, snow shoeing, skating, laughing....

My little winter boy. He loves the snow and cold so much and plays outside constantly. When he starts to get testy or stir crazy I get him bundled up and send him out. He fights with me sometimes, but once he is out he is at peace!

This fuzzy dark picture doesn't even begin to cover the adorable image of my smiley pink cheeked little Eskimo girl. :) I wish you could see her through my eyes, but I know you never could. She doesn't prefer winter, but she still has fun anyway. She tells me every day that she wishes it was summer so that she could go to the beach and eat ice cream. I feel the same way but I try to stay positive about every season. We could never wish any of our four beautiful seasons to go away. They bless our lives so richly. :)

And...these orange kittens are more work than I imagined they would be. Most of it is pretty typical of kitten stuff, but I get very frustrated. They break things, knock over plants and spill plant soil all over the ground, poop in it, wipe their poopy butts on the wall, ruin everything (my least favorite would be my scratched up 1000 thread count sheets grrrr) they wake everyone up EARLY in the morning and we have recently had to close them in our tiny bathroom before they wake everyone up. Our kids typically get up at 5:30ish and we are talking earlier than that by a lot. This is a picture of Fox stuck in our ceiling. He keeps doing it, and we can't even figure out how he is getting in. I have had to remove this tile OVER and OVER again to help him out. They are adorable, but not very smart. I think it will pay off in the spring when they can go outdoors all the time and also when they start killing mice. :) We do love them!

Anyway, just wanted to drop in and say hi. I hope you are all loving life!

Teaching a five year old to knit...

2011-12-31T05:37:00.000-08:00

Yesterday morning and this morning I spent some time teaching five year old Harvest to knit. He has a short attention span and I have to teach him right handed knitting when I am a left handed knitter but it is really fun. He loves it! I sit him between my legs and our hands do it together. He likes me to firmly and deliberately lead his hands through the steps. Today I told him that pretty soon he won't need my hands at all!

I bought him the most adorable knitting needles in the world. :)

Happy Solstice!

2011-12-22T12:30:00.000-08:00

Warmest Wishes Everyone! Love and light!

We are having an incredible Solstice and we have so much more fun to come in the next few days. Lots of visiting, traveling and celebrating! I am going to check out of this space until Monday. Happy Solstice, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy New Year! To all of you, whatever you celebrate I wish you the best. Be safe and enjoy.

love Hannah

Chai Solstice Cookies

2011-12-22T12:18:00.000-08:00

I wanted to share a recipe for chai spice cookies that we make every year on or around Winter Solstice. They are my favorite cookies. :)

Chai Solstice Cookies

2 Chai Tea bags (I do decaf)
3 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp Cinnamon, 1/2 tsp ginger and 1/2 tsp nutmeg
1-1/2 cups butter, softened
1 cup sugar
2 egg yolks
2 Tbsp of maple syrup (or molasses)
Icing made from powdered sugar, milk and vanilla

1) In a smallish bowl mix together the chai tea from the bags, the flour and the 3 spices.
2) Cream together the butter and sugar. I use my food processor and the dough attachment that comes with it.
3) Add the egg yolks and the maple syrup. When it becomes a workable dough, put it in the refrigerator covered for up to 2 hours. I only do about an hour.
4) Roll them out with additional flour, cut them out and bake at 350 degrees for 8-10 minutes. When they are cool, put the icing on top. Enjoy!

Winter Thoughts...

2011-12-20T13:44:00.000-08:00

This morning I opted out of running errands and I just stayed home with my girl. She ran around in her underpants playing by herself. She was completely Zen in her own world, and I felt completely Zen just cleaning the house and visiting my land of happy thoughts.

Harvest was at school.

We haven't had much snow yet this year, but the truth is...it isn't even really winter yet. Winter Starts on Thursday, and that is the day that we choose to celebrate. We have a tree, stockings, we exchange gifts and have a candlelit feast all in the name of Winter Solstice. It is magical and lovely...and it brings us such peace to celebrate the changing of the seasons, the darkest day of the year, the birth of the new solar year, and the promise of longer days. We celebrate the sun and winter. To some this may seem alternative and different but to us it is real and beautiful. It aligns with our beliefs and our lifestyle.

Today while I was feeling quiet, a snow powder slowly but deliberately came from the sky and graced us. I felt thankful for the sparkly gift and took a few pictures to share.

Here is Esther Maple hanging out in her underpants making toast for herself. She loves making her own toast and she always eats it right up. I love this girls independence.

She heard me clicking away behind her and she put her arms up in a ballerina pose to make the picture even more lovely. She is so delicious I can hardly stand it.

Happy days to everyone.

2011-12-18T06:14:00.000-08:00

if the Lovestar grows most big

a voice comes out of some dreaming tree
(and how i'll stand more still than still)
and what he'll sing and sing to me

and while this dream is climbing sky
(until his voice is more than bird)
and when no am was ever as i

then that Star goes under the earth

-e.e cummings

(Edited to add: Photo of my beautiful boy, Harvest. Taken by my beautiful love, Andy.)

Darkness is...

2011-12-16T06:25:00.000-08:00

A time for bringing light into our lives, literally and figuratively.

A time for making foods that are beautiful and warming, and feeling thankful for that food.

A time for spending time with people we love and making sure that they know how much we love and appreciate them.
A time for breathing, loving and being together.

Who we are...

2011-11-28T07:09:00.000-08:00

I love this time of year. I love the joy and the magic. I love a reason to give, and to spend time with those that I love. I do however think that sometimes we can become very carried away by a sort of negative energy as well. I know that I feel it every time I am bombarded by catalogs in the mail telling me what I should buy for my loved ones. I sometimes worry that others will buy us all sorts of things and that we will have to buy them all sorts of things (that they most likely don't need) and spend beyond our means. Not to mention the fact that we would then end up spending this beautiful season in stores or shopping online when there are so many other things we could be doing with our time.

So I ask myself,

What do I want for my family and myself? What are we able to do/what do we want to do? What makes the holidays magical for me, and how do I make it happen? What will our children look back on fondly in years to come? What will they remember as their favorite holiday memories that they will then in turn continue as their own family traditions someday? How can we show them the true meaning of the Solstice season?

I can tell you that I am choosing to eliminate stress. Those who love us will support our decision to only give gifts that are handmade and from the heart. That is what we can afford, and it is what we enjoy doing. If others choose to buy us expensive gifts, we will thank them and enjoy the moment without feeling sad that we couldn't do exactly the same thing for them. Remember Hannah, they love you. Really, we all love each other and that is my favorite reason to celebrate.

So what are we going to do? We will make garlands with fluffy white popcorn and dried cranberries. We will listen to comforting music and decorate our home. We will fill the air with the smells of handmade edible gifts and laugh together while we create and enjoy giving together. We will fill our home with love an acceptance. We will illuminate the darkness with light. We will open our arms to those in need. We will find the perfect tree and decorate it together, letting the memories of all previous years enter our minds and feel thankful for the present moment. We will show our children what the holidays mean to us. We will spend so much time with friends and family and celebrate the magic with love and laughter. We will fill the air with wonderful smells, Christmas music, warmth and light.

We will watch children experience things for the first time, and be still for them.

We will feel joy deeply, and let our hearts sing with gratitude.

A much needed getaway...

2011-11-26T16:01:00.000-08:00

I have gone away for nights at a time by myself, and so has Andy but we had never gone away together overnight the TWO of us together since having kids. Well, until last night anyway. My extremely helpful mother in law, Maureen stayed at our house with the kids and Andy and I headed to Montreal. We walked around the city, rested, had sushi, rested in our hotel room, walked around, had food at an AMAZING restaurant that we have wanted to go to for a loooong time, (If you are interested in Au Pied de Cochon you should get the cookbook, or watch Anthony Bordain eat there (I didn't have foi gras) or just go there yourself. We were amazed at the quality and the atmosphere.) we walked around more, rested, had wine in our hotel, walked around and window shopped, went to sleep (without anyone waking us???) woke up to a wonderful hotel breakfast, walked around, went to a cafe/lovely market and headed home. Don't worry, we had plenty of unmentionable fun as well. Woops, I mentioned it.

I love my husband, and I am realising now that we need to do this just the two of us more often. It doesn't count that we had time together when the kids are in bed. It is so wonderful to not be interrupted and to have no obligations but to love and enjoy each other.

My only regret is not dressing more fashionable. I should have remembered that Montreal women wear VERY high fashion clothing and accessories. On our first walk I made the mistake of wearing a very boxy jacket and my bog boots. I am not used to being so low on the totem pole of fashion. Around these parts I pretty much look top of the line fabulous. :) Anyway, I looked better when we went out for dinner, but I wouldn't say the height of fashion like everyone else.

Thanks Maureen. :) The kids loved being with you, and we loved getting away. It was just what the doctor ordered.

Just look at us. We have been together for 8 years, and the passion is still there.

21 Days of Gratitude...

2011-11-24T17:33:00.000-08:00

#21 Today I have so much to be thankful for. My life is full of bounteous riches, incredible people and wonderfully enriching experiences.

I am thankful for Rosie, and that my two legs...the same ones that have carried me through this life gave me the gift of running a 5K this morning. My body is capable of so much. Rosie and I had a fantastic time together running the Turkey Trot. What a rush!

I felt so ready to feast with good company.

I am thankful for my children. That they are healthy and happy and chose me to be their mama. I am thankful for my incredible husband. I am thankful for friendship, family...and really folks I am thankful for this beautiful feast that was well earned today and for the people that I was fortunate (once again) to share this feast with. Happy Thanksgiving and I wish for peace and happiness to shine on you this holiday season. Let it wrap around your shoulders like a comforting blanket, and bask in it.

XOXO

Peace, Love and Preparations...

2011-11-23T16:50:00.000-08:00

Today we woke up to this...

No matter how ready you are, it always brings this about...

They were both excited for our new white blanket, but it is Harvests favorite season of all so is excitement went above and beyond.

Inside was very warm.

I did quite a bit of food preparation for tomorrows feast. We are getting together with our dear friends that we get together with nearly every year for thanksgiving. We have so much fun. This years contribution from us is home made cranberry sauce and cranberry relish, pumpkin pie and sweet potato casserole. I also picked up a nice bottle of wine for the occasion. Can't wait!

Here is our little bugaboo.

And check it out! We adopted his cage buddy from the Humane society today. Andy surprised the kids this afternoon with him. We decided it would be better to have two. They both have the same orange and white colors, but we can totally tell them apart. The two boys were very happy to see each other-and two weeks separation didn't make much of a difference. They first licked each other and rubbed against one another and then they began the play. They jumped all over each other and chased one another for the whole afternoon. It was very sweet. We are so happy to have made this decision. They are much happier as a pair. :)
I am really discovering that I like cats a lot, but I promise that I will never get like this.

And yes, today I managed to have us do my favorite thanksgiving craft. This year Harvest was old enough to make the whole thing with minimal help. He also came up with his own thankfuls and wrote them HIMSELF by sounding out the letters as he went. I am so pleased that he sat still for long enough to do this craft and the words too. What patience! We all did one, but I only got a picture of Harvests. He wrote that he is thankful for thanksgiving, the world, life, snow and school. Sounds about right!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I am doing the 5K with my best friend Rosie in the morning and then joining some dear friends for the second half of the day for a wonderful gathering and of course, feasting. I will do my last gratitude post tomorrow night tipsy or not.

I hope you all enjoy your day tomorrow.

21 Days of Gratitude...

2011-11-22T12:14:00.001-08:00

#20 Today I am just going to say that I am thankful for Netflix on Demand. It saved my tired ass today. Don't judge me too harshly. I meant to make construction paper turkeys with the kids today, but I ran out of steam from being screamed at all day.

21 Days of Gratitude...

2011-11-21T15:49:00.000-08:00

#19 From this picture you would never guess what sort of day I had. If you can, I would say that you are incredibly insightful. None of us slept well (not a new thing around here) and so we were tired. Esther Maple gave me a very hard time today and I did not recieve it well. We were grouchy at each other. Her voice became like fingernails on a blackboard by noon. Now, the kids are in bed and I had my jog before dinner. I can honestly say that when I think back, the day had some real positive parts to it that I didn't recognise at the time. Fact is, I am very thankful to have these two wee monsters. They are pretty incredible. I should wake them up. Just kidding.

They are enjoying A Bear Called Paddingtion...and I love how attentive they get to a story that has hardly any pictures. Lately they have been listening to many a story book CD. They curl up in front of the fire and just listen. It is divine.

Oh, I am thankful for coffee.

21 Days of Gratitude...

2011-11-20T18:27:00.000-08:00

#18 Today we thought it was necessary to separate the kids for a little while, so we each took a kid hiking to a differant spot. Daddy /daughter date and Mama/son date. I got to spend half a day with just Harvest! It was so wonderful. We hiked in the woods and when it started pouring rain we took shelter under some thick little trees, snuggled and drank hot chocolate in enamel mugs. We had so much fun together that we both admitted we would never forget it. Sigh. Andy and Esther had a ball together as well. Next time we will switch and I will have that time with Esther and the guys will romp around together.

In the evening some friends (like family) threw me a late birthday dinner. It was so great! Good food and dessert, wine, good company and gifts.

I am thankful for Andy and the kids, a day turned beautiful by us, and friends that are truly family. :)

Pictured above, Esther drinking hot chocolate with daddy. I didn't bring a camera with Harvest and I today.

21 Days of Gratitude...

2011-11-20T05:32:00.000-08:00

#17 Thankful to have found a great jogging partner, and thankful that I ran 2.6 miles. My 5K is on Thanksgiving!

21 Days of Gratitude...

2011-11-18T13:33:00.000-08:00

#16 I am thankful for this adventurous and sincere boy. I am equally grateful for both of my children, but I was so drawn to Harvest today because of the improvements he has made in the past few months. He is so gentle and responsible with our new kitten, Fox. Two years ago I would have never thought he had the ability. I am so glad for what time has done for him.

He is also really enjoying learning. Today he wanted me to help him sound out words and write them. I really didn't have to help much. He pretty much knew which letter came next by the sounds in the word. He is only five...

These are the words he wanted to write...Pumpkin, carrot, meat, beer, popcorn, mango. All foods. I swear we don't drink that much beer. :)

Today we went for a walk and I loved watching him climb trees and explore with rosy cheeks. He has such a fantastic personality. He is scrumptious. I am so thankful to have him.

21 Days of Gratitude...

2011-11-17T16:36:00.000-08:00

#15 Today I felt pretty blah. I wasn't able to do a jog and I really felt a desire to. It was really cold and the kids were tired. I was tired too. Tired from being startled out of my sleep several times in the night (once peed on by an oblivious child) and all recent nights. Tired from my life. Its ok. When Esther and I went to pick Harvest up from school my face lit up. The cafeteria was thick with the wonderful smell of thanksgiving. The room was filled with elderly community members, all with smiles gracing their faces and joy illuminating their presence. My eyes scanned the room to find my five year old sweetheart. He was in the corner sitting with his teacher and friends. They were all wearing construction paper pilgrim hats and eating turkey dinner immersed in happiness and community. They were pink cheeked from running around outside before lunch. It was precious. That was my favorite moment today. I felt so thankful that Harvest is loving life and that he is in such a great situation. What more could a mother want?

Now I sit in a quiet dark house next to a window really feeling the solitude. The kids are in bed, Andy is on his way home from class, the fire is raging, Fox is sleeping in front of it, the house is tidy and I am watching snow lightly fall outside my window. I think it might actually be winter.

I am at peace, and when everything is said and done I am grateful.

21 Days of Gratitude...

2011-11-16T17:51:00.000-08:00

#14 Today I am so so so thankful for my parents and Andy's parents. Thankful that they are supportive and loving. Thankful that I can call when I need something and that I know they are always there. Thankful that they love our children and enjoy them. We really are so lucky to have them. Thank you Universe. I don't know what I would do without these people.

21 Days of Gratitude...

2011-11-15T17:57:00.000-08:00

#13 I ran two miles today, without stopping. I am thankful for that. It is my birthday, and I am thankful that I am alive. I got my pumpkin cheesecake with homemade fresh caramel on top. Made by my own live-in sexy chef. It was amazing! I am accepting that birthdays are not always perfect, and feeling thankful for what is beautiful, rich, constant, and strong in my life.

I made my wish out loud tonight, much to Harvests dismay. He said that it wouldn't come true if I said what it was. I told him that I believed the opposite. If you share your wishes and turn them into goals...than you can start working on them and feel the support from family and friends hold you up as you make it happen for yourself.

21 Days of Gratitude...

2011-11-14T12:51:00.000-08:00

#12 Today I am thankful that it is November 14th and warm enough for my kids to play barefoot in the sandbox. Regardless of how odd this warmth is for this time of year, It is bringing me so much joy. Today I jogged in a tank top!

Funny how when we focus on gratitude, we end up having more things to be grateful for than we did before. It is like magic!

21 Days of Gratitude...

2011-11-13T18:24:00.000-08:00

#11 I am thankful for my two little Eskimos. :) Today we finished stacking wood and cleaning up the yard for winter. We had an outdoor bonfire and ginger tea. In the evening I went jogging and then we joined our Sunday dinner friends for a wonderful evening. All of this mixed with lots of adorable kitten snuggles. It was a perfect day. I am thankful for it all. Here are the little guys in their new winter jackets. It gets pretty cold and windy around these Northern parts and we decide to go all out and get these amazingly warm jackets this year. Anyway, joyful gratitude!

From all of us.

21 Days of Gratitude...

2011-11-12T11:36:00.000-08:00

I completely neglected this yesterday because my day was so full. We visited with friends, returned Honey (our sort of adopted cat), adopted a kitten and I had an amazing time at book club in the evening-returning at 1 in the morning. Fun fun. Anyway, I am doing a double gratitude today.

#9 Grateful for all of the wonderful women in my life. I have so many, and while some have helped to shape me to be the person that I am...others have provided support, friendship and giggles. Some have held my hand while I birthed my children, others have invited me to be a part of their beautiful births, some have provided a village for me while I raise my children, while others allow me to be a part of their village. Some have seen my cry, others have offered some of the best comfort by sharing their own experiences and empathy. Some have taken care of my children with such care, and others have passed their sweet babies over for me to nurture them and even nurse them while they are away doing something important. Some have a glass of wine with me, inspire me and make me laugh hard enough to wet myself while others pass me on the street and add so much value to my day just by being there. Some are sisters, some are so special that I know that they were once my sisters. I value all of my relationships with women and I really count my blessings that there are so many from so many different walks of life. They add some real value and spice to my life. I consider myself to be very blessed. Thanks ladies, thank you to each and every one of you. I can assure you have touched me or supported me in way that I will not forget.

#10 Meet the newest addition to the family. He is the incredibly precious 3 month old kitten that we adopted at an animal shelter yesterday afternoon. He is a real gem, and I can't walk by him without giggling or picking him up to cradle him and talk lovingly to him. He spends all of his time laying helplessly around (preferably on people) and purring loudly. The kids are already very connected and love him so much. We named him Fox. I am grateful for Fox, and for the sweetness that he is bringing out of my kids.

He is making himself right at home.

21 Days of Gratitude...

2011-11-10T17:32:00.000-08:00

#8 Today was an odd day. I got a lot of much needed painting done, and now I sit here at the end of the day with a delicious glass of red wine. I think right now I am most thankful for my lovely kids that are now in bed (which I am also thankful for), my glass of wine and tomorrow being a day off for Andy.

21 Days of Gratitude...

2011-11-09T16:14:00.000-08:00

So today was just an incredible day...in every way.

#7 Thankful for the sun and warmth that we had today, and for a wonderful time at the park with friends.

Thankful for the unexpected early birthday package I recieved in the mail today with my favorite stone ground dark chocolate, dark roast coffee, a new plum purple Thermos, a beautiful journal, chapstick, nice pens and a beautiful piece of fabric. Only a best friend would know exactly which items would make a person feel as good as I felt when I opened this. Thanks Rosie. Love you.

And for a brave moment that Harvest and I shared together with these incredibly large creatures that live right in our back yard.

So very thankful for today. It was beautiful and perfect.

21 Days of Gratitude...

2011-11-08T14:39:00.000-08:00

#6 Today I will be honest and tell you that I had a slightly difficult time finding something to be thankful for-even though I was surrounded by everything that I am normally thankful for. You know how a stressful day can put the wool over your eyes?

So, I decided to do something good for myself, and then feel thankful for it...when Andy came home I set him to work making dinner and I went for a jog down our road. This is something I started doing a couple weeks ago and love. It wakes me up, gives me incredible energy and forces me to feel happy. So after some effort on my part here it is....Today I am most thankful for my strong healthy body, for all of the amazing things it has done and will do and for the freedom jog that I had today on our beautiful dirt road.

On my harder days...

2011-11-08T12:48:00.000-08:00

On some of my harder days with the kids I like to take a moment , walk around outside and take pictures of whatever looks beautiful to me. I get to hide behind the camera and let the lens capture whatever images are soothing to me. In truth, I would love to take some photography classes. I enjoy it that much. Here are a few from the difficult day that I had today...

This boy...

This boy had a really off day today. It is not that extraordinary of a thing. We have had so many struggles with him. He is so incredibly smart and passionate, which I think is what causes some of the difficulty. The thing that is so hard about it is that if he has a hard day, that is my day too. I can be super woman and be strong and calm, but my job is to take care of these two people and the way they act or feel greatly impacts the quality of my day.

Lately he has been into drawing pictures, which is a fairly new thing. I find that if I give him a pencil or crayons and some blank white paper, he does it so intently and it helps to calm and refocus himself for a period of time. It was such a beautiful day that we brought our art supplies out to the picnic table.

I love five year old art.

21 Days of Gratitude...

2011-11-07T16:14:00.000-08:00

#5 I am most thankful for the beautiful day I was given. For sunshine and warmth, time to read the morning paper, an afternoon at the park with the kids, flying the kite in a field and it going very high up in the sky, laughing...delicious fresh baked blueberry pie...and also thankful for Andy. Somehow after all these years I love him more-which I would never have thought possible.

21 Days of Gratitude...

2011-11-06T12:38:00.000-08:00

#4 Today I feel most thankful for my freedom, and for this beautiful hike that we did as a family. It wasn't the most perfect of days, but I stayed positive through my funk...I suppose I am thankful for my self discipline today as well.

21 Days of Gratitude...

2011-11-05T07:04:00.000-07:00

Today I am working at the Health Food Store, so I am an early bird with this, but it is an easy one...

#3 Today I am thankful for weekend breakfasts with my three favorite happy faces.

Also thankful to find this little video online today.

Wanted to share its beauty with you.

21 Days of Gratitude...

2011-11-04T16:29:00.000-07:00

#2. Today I am most grateful for my ability to let go and allow simple pleasures shape my enjoyment of life in all the ways that matter the most.

21 Days of Gratitude...

2011-11-03T16:39:00.000-07:00

#1 Today I feel most thankful for Mother Earth, for my two earth children, and for the spirit forces that move me to pray and feel grateful.

Graham Crackers and Wind Wavers...

2011-11-03T10:11:00.000-07:00

With both kids a little bit under the weather I kept Harvest home from school. Even with the whining and the grumpies (from all three of us) it has so far been a fairly pleasant day. We made homemade graham crackers from this lovely baking book. And also wind wavers from our Oak Meadow crafting book. The kids loved this craft and they were so excited to watch them wave in the breeze. If we get even the slightest drizzle I will have to run out and rescue them.

It has been a day for slow walks outdoors, slow crafting, slow baking, slow eating, snuggling and when I get up from here a slow board game. I will admit that there is probably an afternoon movie in order for today. It is just one of those days...

Peace folks.

Halloween 2011

2011-10-31T16:47:00.000-07:00

Happy Halloween Everybody!

We had a fairy princess and a gnome warrior. Both costumes thrown together from the dress up box. Good times!

Snowman...

2011-10-31T11:16:00.000-07:00

Harvest made this adorable snowman completely on his own today and it really made my day. I think it also made his. Independence can bring a lot of pride and excitement.

Halloween Gettogether

2011-10-31T11:07:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we had our second annual Halloween celebration with my sister and her family. It was wonderful to have sister time, and for the kids to have cousin time. We are a fun bunch of people I tell ya.

First Snow...

2011-10-31T11:02:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning we woke up to find that the first snow of the season had blanketed our world. Our little snow lovers got bundled up and went right out. I watched out my bedroom window with a blanket around my shoulders. It was fun to watch them in all of their excitement.

The Mama...

2011-10-25T13:45:00.000-07:00

This is the road that we live on. Enchanting, but also very desolate.

We have a beautiful yard, with breathtaking views.

It is what we wanted. It is the sort of life we would have done anything for five years ago, and now here we are...

I should live every day immersed in gratitude. Here I am way out here living in absolute beauty with the love of my life and two beautiful and healthy children.

But yet...I have been living most of my days on the brink of an anxiety attack. I know all of the reasons why I should feel only pure joy but for some unexplainable reason I feel sad, hopeless and lost. I feel tense and low patience. It can't be postpartum depression because Esther Maple is three.

Remember this tree that was covered in fire colored leaves a week ago? This is what everything looks like, and it is also the way I feel. Completely depleted of life and fire. I don't understand it.

The kids are...

Doing so great. They are adorable and full of joy and healthy curiosity. So often they say things like,
"Mama, I wuv you." -Esther
-"This is the best day of my whole life" -Harvest during Jack-o-lantern carving time.
"Mama, I hope that I never die because this is the best life in the whole world!"
"Mama, read me dis book peez." -Esther
"This cheese and apple sandwich is filling me with heaven!"-Harvest

I love them so much, and I am so glad they are happy and healthy. Unfortunately I am in such a personal rut that I am not enjoying them the way that I used to, and the way that I should. I am thinking that I am at my next chapter in life and these horrible feelings are my psyche trying to tell me to do something new and move up in the world. I don't know what the universe holds for me next. Obviously most of my world is staying the same (as I want it to) but I am ready for some personal adventure, and some steps in life that will lead me to personal achievement and enjoyment of life. I don't really know how this is going to happen with our already busy schedule. Andy works all day and is also taking two masters classes. Our lives are rip roaring past with not much time left at the end of the day. I have to (and want to) take care of the kids and be a full time home maker. I don't know what to do.

I think I need a therapist to help guide me in the right direction, and I am going to have to ask for help more often as well. I want so badly to shed this negativity out of my life.

Any suggestions? Has anyone else ever felt this way?

Life around here...

2011-10-21T17:45:00.000-07:00

Harvest seems to really like school, and we are all used to our new rhythm. It is working out well for us. Once Harvest is at school school, Esther and I keep busy with something we call "lady time". Sometimes we go grocery shopping together, sometimes we bake things...(peanut butter oatmeal chocolate chip cookies)

We are always playing. She LOVES having the run of the house and the toys all to herself. . .

We do artsy fartsy things like collecting things outside, making collages, painting...I love her paintings. There is no real form to them. She still just enjoys swirling the colors around and the full sensory experience of it.

Harvests water color's take shape. Five year old art is so fun and interesting. He says it is a picture of a monster he saw in the woods once. The rainbow threw me off.

Today I have a dear friend over for a visit and we dipped fall leaves in melted beeswax mixed with oil. They are so beautiful. I made a garland.

Leaf play with dadda.

Jack-o-lanterns. We each did one.

The kids change their minds every day about what they are going to be on Halloween. I threw my hands up at trying to help them. They can just pull things out of the dress up box last minute.

That's what she said.

Esther Maples first haircut

2011-10-20T06:07:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I asked Ms. Maple if she wanted a haircut and when she said yes I sat her up in the tall kitchen stool and finished in five minutes. Her hair was so easy to cut because the curls hide any small mistake I am sure that I made. I have never cut her hair, except to trim the bangs. I didn't even feel sad seeing her baby curls fall to the floor. I think she looks so cute!

I remember with Harvests first haircut his curls were gone forever, but Esther seems to have true curly hair thank goodness. I always wanted curls as a kid. I also always wished to have chocolate brown eyes just like hers.

Our beautiful little princess.

Dance Party!

2011-10-19T12:49:00.000-07:00

Today the kids saw a video of people dancing online and it REALLY caused them to want to get their groove on. I found a Pandora Station called "Club/Dance Music" (not typically my cup of tea) and turned the volume way up. The three of us left our troubles behind and grooved to dance tunes for what seemed like forever. It was wonderful. I loved seeing the true funk that Harvest has inside of him, and Esthers absolute glee each timeI held her hands and jumped around in circles with her. We all exposed our true groove to one another and had a great time doing it. I stopped for a minute to take some blurry photos as evidence but pretty quickly jumped back in to "shake my thing".

Are we complete dorks?

Please don't say yes. This doesn't even slightly expose how dorky we truly can be.

Loving...

2011-10-12T12:54:00.000-07:00

This three year old girl. I really wish that I could stop time and enjoy this stage a little longer. She is totally delicious. I sometimes worry that I kiss and nibble her too much, but truthfully I can't help it.

Her Belly.

Milkweed fluff flying through the air and coating the grass.

My coffee, my favorite boots, leggings and the looks of this dessert. It will be my birthday dessert. Andy...?

Our colorful yard.

Harvest building his train tracks all along our window sills this morning. He has been going back to it and playing along the track all day. It is quite a long row of windows with a good sized window ledge. Perfect level for walking along and playing trains.

This candid shot of sibling love. "Esther, I love you but please let go!"

Yellow leaves against the sun.

My happy little explorer. Always finding things and making up games.

Trees, leaves....

Fall.

Toadstool Love...

2011-10-11T07:28:00.000-07:00

Just thought I would share some toadstool love.

Autumn Treasures...

2011-10-10T15:49:00.000-07:00

Fall is my absolute favorite time of year, and right now we have peak foliage. The trees are brilliant, and the air feels so incredible. It is magical. We are enjoying fall nature walks, collecting things (as seen above: grape vine, cat-tails, milk weed pods, pumpkins and leaves.), huge wood piles that need to be stacked, fishing with dad, climbing trees and consuming hot soup, tea and coffee.

Some days we wear a sweater, some days a t-shirt and sandals. Some days we even need a fire in the wood stove this time of year! All days we smile, hug each other and watch everything burst with dramatic color...soon it will all go to sleep.

Life is Beautiful

2011-10-06T12:27:00.000-07:00

Fall Evening walks, collecting rocks in egg cartons and going fishing with Grandpa Jon.

Yes, life is beautiful....

Goodbye

2011-09-30T12:05:00.000-07:00

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
-An Irish Blessing

I have always loved this poem, and now I dedicate it to a lovely woman who we said goodbye to this week. She is Andy's grandmother, and great grandmother of our children. We loved her very much, and will always remember her. She lived her life, she lived it beautifully. Goodbye Peggy.

Autumn and Us

2011-09-26T15:34:00.000-07:00

Growing children, new rhythms...

2011-09-21T07:09:00.000-07:00

Finally we have internet again, and so much happened while we were living and not sharing. It is indeed fall now (even with the equinox a few days away) and we have gone through some changes as a family.

Esther Maple turned 3.

That's right. Our baby has turned three. Oh boy do I love this little girl, and we had a very lovely time celebrating her.

And a certain five year old boy started his new school rhythm. Three half days at school and the rest of the time learning at home. We are just getting used to this new schedule and it is working out rather nicely for all of us. :)

First day of school wearing his new mama made pants and VERY proudly wearing his new backpack from grandma Maureen. We could tell he was very excited, but staying cool about it. He rode the bus the first couple days, but we discovered that bringing him works out the best.

Anyway....here we are! We have most of our food storage underway, but still working at the rest of it. I have been just relaxing and basking in the new cool weather and watching these children sprout.

Love and Fall Blessings to you all!

A little goodbye...

2011-08-21T18:31:00.000-07:00

Well, we cancelled our existing Internet situation and ordered from a local company that now finally offers high speed Internet to our neck of the woods, and at a way better price nonetheless! We found out after cancelling our old one that the new one shall take several weeks to be ordered and set up. We disconnect tomorrow, and there is no changing it.

So I leave you with a few pictures that Andy took of me before blueberry picking. I am liking the looks of me today, and that is a rarity so I am embracing and sharing it.

Anyway, no internet means that I will be doing better things with my time...but it also means no blogging. Ill be back when the leaves are changing colors and we are getting on our woolies.

Blessings!

A Blueberry Day

2011-08-21T18:23:00.000-07:00

After a very beautiful and nourishing family breakfast this morning we decided to head over the border and do the Stanstead Farmers Market and go blueberry picking.

It was a brilliant idea.

By the way, I started a Saturday job yesterday at the local food store. I haven't had a paying job for a very long time-and now here I am. How odd that we are past the time when I had breastfeeding and needy youngins as an excuse to be home full time. They are completely happy without me. Andy took them hiking, and I know there are many more hiking trips, fishing trips and show shoe trips to come with their dad. It is exciting that I am getting away one day a week and they get to have that special time with Andy. Now I will relish my Sundays and my free time that much more and they will love me that much more when I come home. :)

Food Love

2011-08-19T15:43:00.000-07:00

The garden is really giving a lot to us these days. August is always my favorite food month of the year. Such abundance.

Sorting beans

Admiring the beets Harvested and devoured today.

Our silly girl and her chicken bone.

Yes, we sure love August and our garden.

Never Cry over Spilt Milk

2011-08-17T04:54:00.000-07:00

Our morning started like this. Harvest came in our bedroom telling us that he had wet himself in the night. I quietly told him to be careful not to wake his sister (laying closest to Harvest) and instructed him to go get his wet things off and put dry things on. He started crying REALLY loudly and woke his sister up.

She woke up laughing, which really helped my spirit.

Andy went and helped Harv peel his wet pajama bottoms but they had fused to a really painful booboo that was on Harvests knee and the scab was peeled clean off. OUCH! Screaming followed.

Andy and I tried to relax in bed for a few minutes and Harvest tried to pour his own cereal.

While I was sweeping up the cereal he spilled almost the entire contents of the milk jug out.

That was our painful but hilarious start to the day!

How did your day begin?

In our Kitchen...

2011-08-15T15:22:00.000-07:00

We have LOADS of beautiful vegetables from the garden and homemade pasta. Boy did we have a beautiful dinner.

Happiness Happiness tra la la la!

An Ocean Weekend...

2011-08-15T04:00:00.000-07:00

This weekend was our second annual Ocean trip. This year we decided to camp in Crawford Notch State Park in New Hampshire for one night before heading to the Maine camp site. After setting up our tent at the site, we hiked up to Arethusa Falls and got to experience a very large and beautiful waterfall. Someone there said that we should try this hike in the spring when the waterfall is roaring. We will have to do that sometime.

After having a camping night together as a family we were ready to meet RoseAnna and Tim in Georgetown, Maine on the Sagadoahoc Bay. When we arrived we were so happy to see that our large tent site overlooked an ocean beach. It had an excellent low tide, and in the early mornings and evenings we spent some time beach combing. It was so peaceful and exciting for the kids. We only found two sand dollars, but lots of shells, driftwood, dead crabs and a teeny starfish.

Saturday was Beach day.

We drove to Reid State Park and decided on the southern side of Mile beach and the beauty of it took my breath away. Crashing waves, large dunes, salty sea smell, gorgeous sand, driftwood everywhere (I have a driftwood fetish). It was magical. We spent several hours soaking the sun, swimming/wading around and playing in the sand. It was heaven.

The kids loved it.

We all did.

And I got to spend this time with some of my very favorite people.

We had really good camp breakfasts and dinners. My personal favorite was when we discovered that we could order fresh caught and already cooked lobsters and they would be delivered right to our camp site. They were delivered warm and fragrant and they were AMAZING!

We had a full moon rise right over us when we were relaxing around the camp fire.

I love this picture around the camp fire because in the middle of all the visiting you can see Esther Maple eating a smore with a rather pleased look on her face.

Beautiful Ocean weekend. It was everything that we needed and wanted it to be. I can't wait for next years trip!

From their eyes...

2011-08-10T15:54:00.000-07:00

I should remember to stop, breathe and see things through their eyes.

If I did, life would be so simple, so satisfying.

My joyless nature would be replaced

with unrestrained bliss.

I would wake up

and never once think that the day was imperfect...

I would just seek delight

and greatly cherish all that came my way.

If only I could feel things just the way that they do.

I would find absolute comfort

in curling up on a warm lap...

feeling that familiar heartbeat.

knowing that it beats for me,

And that would be enough.

In a second I would be off to play,

Never expecting more of myself than to just be.

If I lived by their illustration, and it came naturally to me...

Happiness would be beauty. Love would be peace.

I would never question my self worth

With pride I would tell others

that I hiked a mountain with my two strong legs

and that I created a crayon masterpiece

and it is hanging on the fridge.

I would love my life because...

it is mine to love.

Wednesday morning doll Play

2011-08-10T06:29:00.000-07:00

This morning the kids had a very elaborate game of baby. Harvest was the daddy and Esther was the mama. Between them they have three very special babies. Ruby the boy is the blond baby made by Auntie Melly for Harvests second birthday. He named him "Ruby the boy" after a little girl named Ruby. When he got Ruby, she (the real Ruby) was just a baby and he was really intrigued by her. The teeny one is named Ruby as well. We bought her from Nova Naturals for Esther's solstice gift and presented it to her along with the cradle when she was 14 months old. She loved her new baby so much that when she opened her up she held her tight, closed her eyes and turned around in circles with a complete expression of joy on her little face. Andy and I both got teary in the moment because it was so sweet. I think she named her Ruby because she was too little to think of a name on her own, so she copied Harvests dolly name.
Blueberry is the beautiful brown skinned baby that I made for Esther when she turned two. I really enjoyed making her, and I want to make another one soon.

Tucking the babies in for a nap.

Making sure that they are sleeping.

Time for the daddy to take a nap.
Now mamas turn!
(They must somehow know that parents don't get to rest at the same time :))

I love how they incorporate the play silks into almost every game. This one is a soft silky blanket.

Getting Ruby dressed.

Nursing Blueberry. I love this the best.

I thoughtlessly asked Harv if he was going to nurse Ruby the Boy and he said, "Mama, daddy's don't have boobies. Esther is going to have to nurse all three babies."

So precious.

It is interesting how ever since I cleaned up house and got rid of things, the kids have been continuously playing with the simple toys that I left out. The dolls, playsilks, blocks, dollhouse things, barn and animals, train set, dress up and legos...It is so wonderful to witness how true it is that children need a very simple environment with a standard of less is better. I think that they are so relieved that there is less and inspired to play more. Clean ups have been much easier as well. Since there is less, and everything has its place...the kids can easily jump in and put things just where they go and it takes no time at all.

Around here...

2011-08-09T04:55:00.000-07:00

I confess that I haven't been completely well lately, so I haven't taken many pictures of the kids. Here are some good ones from the past week.

As always, the kids love painting. We have bought a few brands in the past. This is stockmar, which is vibrant and lovely. It is just pricey. Melissa and Doug poster paint is horrid in every way. Crayola watercolors are fine, but I like buying bottles rather than the pans. Does anyone have a favorite kind of paint that they buy for their kids? I would love to try something that is affordable but that also that works well.
The kids were pretty excited one day when I made pancakes and turkey bacon for DINNER. WEEEHEEEE!

And another day they were nagging me for everything under the sun and it wasn't even 7:30. In their string of impossible questions was the request for hot chocolate-which we really only have occasionally when it is cold. I surprised them and said yes. I set it up outside and even put marshmallows in. Boy were they surprised and thrilled.

This was last night. The boys went fishing and Esther Maple and mama went for a walk/bike ride. Beautiful evening!

We then Harvested some garden veggies and she proceeded to eat all of them. SO cute.

Clothing on the line every day.

We are getting through just fine. The summer hasn't been what I hoped it would be, or what I needed it to be but we are doing alright and this weekend we go away for our Maine trip. We are all very excited about camping with RoseAnna and Tim and going to the ocean again. A new yearly tradition that we started last year.

I hope you are all having a wonderful summer.

Less

2011-08-07T12:21:00.000-07:00

Well, I have been feeling so overwhelmed by the amount of clutter that has accumulated in our little home and while in the process of reading this book I realized that the children have got to be feeling it too. We have always tried to keep our home tidy and have controlled the quality/amount of toys like patrol sargents. Sometimes, no matter what you do, the clutter can grow and take over. I walked around the house yesterday to take in what should stay and what should go and I knew without a doubt that the quantity of items that we have is overwhemling to all of us. The children have been very needy lately and I think it is because there are too many toys with inadequate organization to really play or feel inspired.

So, today after a family hike and swim I set to work. I started with the books. Our little bookshelf was packed so tight with books that it was difficult to even get one out. Some were stacked on top and others crammed in a box next to the shelf. We are avid readers around here, but how is a kid supposed to feel inspired to pick up a book when it looks like a disorganised book sale rather than a shelf with some good books. I sent Andy outside with an enormous box of books and kept the ones that I like them to read the best and the ones that they like the best. I changed the book shelf in for a larger one and voila it looks like a very inviting book corner.

Next I tackled the play kitchen. I got rid of about half of their play food/accessories and moved the old book shelf over next to the play kitchen. I organized the play kitchen stuff on the shelf and voila, a very inviting play kitchen corner!

I went around the house throwing away the random toys that not only are not played with but are constantly spread all over the place. I had a large black garbage bag in hands. I threw away SO many things. I then started putting the toys we like but want a break from in a laundry basket. Later in the winter maybe we will change in some of the ones we have for some that have been in storage. They will be almost like new at that point. We had some funny situations going on, like a small basket overflowing with toy cars and trucks. There were so many of them that there was dust in the basket and I am positive they were never touched. I threw most of them away and saved a handful of nice ones and put them back in the just washed basket. They fit perfectly under the new book shelf and I am sure they will now be played with. The doll house was FILLED with dust so I took a rag and washed it out. I put the doll house things in a new basket on the side and Esther IMMEDIATELY started playing with it.

I even felt that the overflowing clothes drawers were ridiculously overwhelming so I went through and simplified that as well. Now when I tell Harvest to go get clean shorts and a shirt, he will have an easier time making a choice. Sometimes I send him in to get dressed and he comes out in his pajama's still. When I ask him why he hasn't changed yet he says "I don't know" and when I go in to investigate the clothes are ALL over the place. Now there is so much less in there to choose from.

Everything got a second look and now I can say that the kids things are in an AWESOME state. I kept everything to a minimum and followed the book authors advice and cut the amount of toys in half and then half again. Basically. It looks great, and it feels great. Getting rid of such a large quantity of things is liberating and peaceful.

Also what inspired me to do this is just that we have been really struggling with Harvest. We basically always have, but lately I have been so worried about him. My sister friend RoseAnna sent me this link and I am convinced that this is what he would be diagnosed with if diagnosing was my cup of tea. This article describes Harvest perfectly. I realise now how simple things need to be for him. The toys and things in our house have to be simple, my directions have to be simple, my discipline simple. I am going to be really working on this with him and de-cluttering and simplifying is an awesome start for a guy who gets overstimulated so easily. Less is good, less is good.

Tomorrow I will work on the rest of the house.

And here is one thing that I am happy to have an over abundance of. Garden vegetables. Our garden is so happy, which brings me so much gratitude.

A haircut for Harvest...

2011-08-04T13:59:00.000-07:00

Doesn't he look cute?

So we went to the hair salon today and Harvest had his first real haircut. I have trimmed it through the years, but never got it short like this. He REALLY didn't want any pictures just yet of his hair, so I got away with pretending I wanted to take pictures of his paper bag costume he was busy working on. I mean, I just had to share it. He looks like such a boy now. I felt kind of sad when all of his beautiful blond hair was in a heap on the floor at the salon. There was so much cut off and he looks SO different now. He looks really nice, but VERY different. Now I am sure that people will know that I have a girl and a boy. Seriously, wherever we go everyone says "hi girls" to my kids or makes some comment about my girls. Yesterday was REALLY irritating when at a grocery store the lady ringing our groceries in called him a girl and when Esther piped in, "Actually he is my brova" she stood there looming over him saying over and over again that he must be a girl. "No way, you are a girl. You CAN'T be a boy. You are most definitely a girl."

I just smiled and corrected her but I wanted to say, "lady, could you please stop accusing my son of being a girl and bag my groceries please."

I wanted so bad for Harvest to feel comfortable having long beautiful hair because HE loved it and it set him apart from the other boys. We just live in a really close minded society that automatically assumes that long hair equals boy. I feel pretty enraged about it quite frankly. Now he will fit in perfectly with all of the other little boys in our society and at his new school that all have exactly the same hair. At least the kids will have one less thing to pick on him for. Lets hope they give him a break in all of the other areas.

Well, here's to my little guy and his new look. I do love it, but I hate our society's idea of gender.

Ok, Peace!

Great gift for Harvest:)

2011-07-29T15:16:00.000-07:00

A friend gave Harvest this awesome dinosaur bone thing for his birthday. It was basically a solid brick with dinosaur bones hidden in it. It comes with a couple plastic tools to try to scrape and wack the bones free: a little brush and digging tool. It took a couple weeks of occasional very focused work and this morning he got all of the bones out. They can fit together to make a skeleton but I broke a couple accidentally when trying to help him. Really cool gift for a kid who craves things to focus on during the day. He loved it.

Simple Garden Feast...

2011-07-29T15:00:00.000-07:00

For dinner tonight... Summer au Gratin with fresh basil to sprinkle on top and a three green salad.

From our garden: Zukes, Summer Squash, basil, lettuce, kale and chard.

Beautiful Garden Blessings.

For dessert: Homemade banana bread with our own Strawberry Jam on top.

Very Tasty and gratifying.

A backpack for school...

2011-07-29T12:24:00.000-07:00

So as many know, for Harvest we have decided that it would be best to do a half public school/half home school situation for kindergarten which is creeping right up on us. Harvest will go to kindergarten for three half days and stay home the rest of the time. I plan to use our already purchased Oak Meadow curriculum for the home learning. Harvest is REALLY excited and was especially excited when Grandma Maureen and John emailed him saying that he could choose an LLBean backpack and they would order it for him for school. LLBean has little backpacks for younger kids and Harvest chose this really cute woodland creature one. It came in the mail just today and there have already been countless games of school. The kids pretend to walk to school and they got out by a tree in the yard and from there I try not to eavesdrop too much. Harvest LOVES his new backpack and he looks precious with it on.

Also coming soon, Harvest has decided to to to the salon with me and get a short "boy" haircut for the first time ever. I think he is feeling sick of always being called a girl by strangers and it gets in the way most of the time. So, I think it will be really cute. I love his long hair, but I am excited to see more of his face. And, there is a part of me that worries about him being picked on at school for having long hair. I plan to always teach my kids that it is most important to be themselves and stand up for that right, but if he is choosing this I am relieved for him in the end. It will be a first. Harvest has always kept his hair long.

Happy Weekend. Andy is going away with a friend for the night tomorrow and I am bringing the kids camping.

-Hannah

Esther Maple beautiful girl...

2011-07-28T14:29:00.000-07:00

Smitten. Just completely 100% smitten.

Bread and Puppet

2011-07-25T11:39:00.000-07:00

We go every year, sometimes a handful of times even to see the same exact performance because it is so entertaining.

Bread and Puppet is so many things to us. It is...
Art
Music
Puppetry
Political (in a way that is my cup of tea:)
Appealing to all ages
Beautiful
Brave
Wonderfully weird
Incredibly inspiring
The very best people watching site
Refreshing
Free, which I think is amazing considering everything all of the work that goes into it.

Yesterday afternoon we went and took these beautiful pictures...

I even got in on some of the fun. I am in the picture above right behind Peters hand wearing the black dress, red glasses and scarf on my head. Peter was giving us a really odd explanation of what we needed to do and that alone was entertaining. Basically hold these potato people costumes, dance, make odd sounds and follow them to three different spots following a person wearing a carrot costume and a cardboard gun. All the while, Peter was playing the fiddle and doing some sort of interpretive vocal thing that made me feel like bursting out with nervous laughter which I didn't thank heavens.

And then there is the bread. The glorious crusty earth oven bread with garlic and olive oil spread on top. I have been mostly wheat free but there is no way I would miss on this part of the experience.

If you live in Vermont, you need to make time for this experience this summer and if you don't, it is worth the trip.

Today we...

2011-07-21T12:43:00.000-07:00

Went to the park and flew a kite. It was the perfect day with such a strong wind that the kite stayed way up in the sky for much longer than usual. We had to pull it hard to get it down when it was time to go home. It was a beautiful day for flying a kite, which is by the way one of my favorite things to do with the kids.

Taking the time...

2011-07-13T16:28:00.000-07:00

Lately my mornings have been kind of different. Andy and Harvest get ready for camp. and they are gone quite early. Once they leave it is just us girls, which is really surprisingly wonderful.

You see, when Harvest was born it was just him...so his first two years were all about his time with Andy and I. It was really quite wonderful. We didn't quite get that with Esther upon her arrival because we had the needs of a very needy newborn and an even more needy two year old. I wanted so desperately to have just a few minutes each day to savour just Esther, but it didn't happen very often. I didn't know that later on we would somehow be given some special time just the two of us...and here it is! For now it is while Harv is at camp...and pretty soon he will be in kindergarten 3 half days a week.

We begin our time by going outside. I love morning. Is it just me, or is everything in nature completely exaggerated in the morning? The sun shines with a bright yellow hue, the birds sing most loudly and joyfully, the dew drops make every leaf and plant glisten, the air smells the sweetest...and Esther and mama are in it taking it all in together.

I bring my coffee in a mug to go, and we just experience with no expectation or time frame. Either by bike or by foot. Woods, road or yard. We tromp, we giggle, we sing, we watch...and we always go up to the garden to see what the sun and rain allowed for us to grow overnight. Yesterday and today there were little yellow patty pan squashes, perfect for eager little hands to pick. And zucchini. Each day we can see that things are growing more and more...and Esther even at her very young age of two and a half knows what almost every plant is in our garden.

I think that what I love most of all is being available to her completely. My attention and my time are all hers. I hear every question or comment, and I answer each time. If she is quiet, there is silence. We walk where she wants to go, and experience what she is interested in that day.

Yes, I am really liking this.

These pictures were taken this morning...

Harvest Turns FIVE...

2011-07-11T16:47:00.000-07:00

Harvest had his very first friend birthday party yesterday with a turnout of 12 friends and their parents. It was very fun. We set up the kid pool, sprinkler, slip and slide and about 200 water balloons. I made two kinds of cupcakes and let the kids decorate them with sprinkles. It was pretty casual, but the kids had a blast.

Today was his actual birthday, and after Andy got home from work we celebrated five years with Harvest as a family. He chose ravioli as his birthday meal and I made him our favorite tart recipe for dessert. It is healthy, but very scrumptious. He made us sing happy birthday three times in a row because he enjoyed it so much. We enjoy him.

He didn't know that we had saved one last gift for today, his actual birthday. A brand new wooden chess set. He has been saying he wants to play this old fashioned game for months and he was VERY into it.

I felt very out of it the past couple of days almost a lost at sea sort of feeling...I think because I feel so hesitant to allow these years to fly by so fast and scared because I know that it is out of my control. I think the hardest thing about being a mama is that we fall so deeply in love with these precious little ones and hold ourselves so accountable for their well-being while they grow at such an unimaginable speed. I know that in a very short span of time he will be off and away living as a grown up when these innocent images are still so fresh and constant in my mind...It is (as un understatement) bitter-sweet.

Happy Birthday to Harvest George. A very incredibly strong boy who is, and will always be the pride that swells in my heart, the happy tears that shine in my eyes and a very old and special soul. It is the grace of god that has allowed us to be parents to this very special spirit and we are very much smitten.

Food we grew...and preparations for a fun day.

2011-07-09T16:37:00.000-07:00

This is the beautiful food that we harvested from our garden today. We ate it all for dinner. It is so rewarding to start getting something from our hard work.

And preparing for a very special celebration tomorrow. Harvest is having his very first friend birthday party. Fun fun fun. His actual birthday is Monday.

I can't believe my baby is turning five. I also can't believe how much preparation there is to throwing a kids birthday party. It should be fun. Pictures later.

Yard Sale Find...

2011-07-08T03:43:00.000-07:00

Its a great day when you find a nice wooden twin bed for 10 bucks. I have been trying to scope one of these out for long time. Now I can set up Esther's toddler bed next to his. It is in need of a sanding down and refinish, but I don't have the time right now so what ev.

I was noticing last night that almost everything we have is either from a yard sale, thrift store, tag sale or given to us used. I like that.

Fingers Crossed...

2011-07-07T10:15:00.001-07:00

I just entered this wonderful giveaway for Elsa Beskow books. She is by far my favorite children's book author, and my fingers are definitely crossed.

http://valariebudayr.typepad.com/jump_into_a_book/

Esthers Yoga Regime...

2011-07-07T05:19:00.000-07:00

Esther does not really have a regime, I just thought that sounded funny. Yesterday I put some kids yoga videos on youtube for her and I thought it was really cute. Bad quality pictures, but don't you just love her little poses that are only a little bit like the ones on the video? I had to fight back giggles the whole time, especially watching her intense and slightly sheepish expressions. This girl is pretty darn hilarious.

And here she is this morning. I had to give her a tootsie roll (we kept a few pieces from when they threw the junky stuff at us during the parade the other day) to cheer her up when Andy and Harv left this morning. Andy is working at a kids summer camp, and Harvest has been occasionally going with him. He loves it, and then Esther and I get some lady time.

I am just posting this picture because it shows the adorable boats that Harvest proudly brought home from camp yesterday. He made them!

We are having our ups and downs around here. It is great that Andy is bringing in some extra $, which is essential right now, but I miss having all four of us home for summer vacation. Usually we spend the whole summer together doing yard work, gardening, going to the beach...and then I get a slight break because there is another adult here to help with the kids and take them away for awhile or let me leave for awhile...I am missing that. Now the yard is overgrown, I feel tired and I miss Andy. I admit, I feel a little bit depressed...which seems to come naturally for me.

We will have about two weeks at the end of the summer to spend together, and we are planning our now yearly trip to the ocean with Rosie and Tim. I look forward to that.

Until then, Harvest loves summer camp and I have a goal today to make the best of this time that is not quite perfect...but as I said the other day...nothing is or should be.

Challenged...

2011-07-05T16:53:00.000-07:00

Oh boy it sure is challenging to be a stay at home mother.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change my job for the world. Even in the toughest moments of motherhood, if someone offered me a differant situation...I wouldn't even think twice. Being a mom is what I love to do, and I believe that I would be hugely missing out if I passed up this precious time with my young children.

But boy it is hard, and it sure does test my patience. Yesterday and today were especially difficult. I thought that I was going to pass out from exhaustion and frustration. It was hot, VERY hot and we were all tired. And of course, Harvest gets bored and when he gets bored all hell breaks loose. I had a hard time getting our normal morning chores done, and I skipped my workout video for like the fourth day in a row because I knew the kids wouldn't behave during it-which is vital if I want it to flow right. Everything was a hot, sweaty jumble of challenges. And of course, at the time it felt like the end of the world...which we all know is a momentary dramatic feeling in a short passage of time when the day is over and we look at things with a calm mind and a peaceful heart.

In the afternoon after a hellish grocery trip, some homemade strawberry banana bread (really good by the way) and some story time I filled up the little kiddy pool and started up the sprinkler. Andy got home from work and ran around with the kids.

I sat in the grass and had my second dose (this time much more relaxing than the first) of coffee and had a short mama break. Even the short ones count for something. Especially when the kids are laughing, spending time with their dad and cooling off.

Well now the little ones are sleeping side by side looking VERY sweet and the choices are endless, I can watch a movie, do some knitting or read, snuggle up with Andy...this evening definitely didn't come too soon.

And, tomorrow is a new day...

with its own challenges but also its joys and inspirations. You need the lemons to make lemonade, and our days could never be just sugar and sunshine.

The Perfect Kind of Day...

2011-07-03T15:37:00.000-07:00

All from today, which was the perfect kind of day.

Relaxing, lovely and satisfying in every kind of way.

-Hannah

Thankful for...

2011-07-01T09:29:00.000-07:00

-Sisters.

-Neil Young

-Andy's wonderful summer job

-Fresh delicious salads with local greens, local tomatoes and local feta cheese. Really, could it get any better?

-This. It is really good on strawberry shortcake and on coffee. From now on I will always have a few cans of chilled coconut milk in the fridge.

-My family, of course.

-That I get to get away for Book Club Tonight! Yay for Mama!!!!

-This incredible new yarn that I get to work with. It is locally made with mohair fibre and died a rich red. It will either be a red vest for Harv or a scarf for me. I bought it thinking of Harvest because it is red, and he has decided that is his new favorite color. But...it is so gosh darn lovely and I would hate for him to dislike the texture and never wear it....tough choice.

-These sweet little feet, with the precious 2.5 year old attached.

-Summer Living.

On my Mind this Morning...

2011-06-29T05:43:00.000-07:00

How much we all loved our little Lake Carmi adventure with family this weekend. The only pictures that came out well were on the canoe, but we got to spend this beautiful weekend with Grandma Maureen and John, and Auntie Beth and Uncle Brian. It was great. John has a beautiful beach house that he built himself and it seriously inspired me to want to someday have our own little beach cabin to retreat to. And of course, we will have to have a canoe.

Also on my mind...our lively little early bird. She has so much intensity that it can really rub me the wrong way at times...but despite that fact I am completely smitten with her. She is really quite amazing. Even on the days that she is most challenging I wouldn't change anything about her. She really is the exact person I hoped would be my daughter.

After she eats her morning granola she always wants to jump into someone's arms. "Dadda, let me nump into your arms!" (As if it is a new idea)

And, a very sweet boy. He has made this same pursed lip concentrating face since he was very tiny, and he has also always curled his toes in that very same way as well. Can it really be that my chubby blond baby boy is now a big strong boy who can hike mountains and do so many big boy things all on his own? So thankful that he still purses his lips and curls his toes. As his mama, I hang on so tightly to those silly little details.

And..our new feline family member. Adopted from a friend who had to move and couldn't take her. She is very sweet, independent and apparently a good mouser! Every country house should have one of those, especially us. Now how to deal with these allergies...

Today is a feel it out day. We may go strawberry picking, or picnic lunch on the beach with friends...or just sit and drink tea and enjoy the storm that seems to be rolling in....

Strawberry Love...

2011-06-23T17:12:00.000-07:00

So, I suppose it is strawberry season. I could hardly believe it when I saw them sitting pretty at the farm stand next to the rhubarb. Strawberries are such a beautiful fruit. Beautiful in appearance, beautiful in flavor. The kids could sit and juicily eat them quart by quart. Today I really wanted to make a crumble. So, I got my big boy helper who loves to use my mini chef knife and cut soft and satisfying things like mushrooms and strawberries. I stood nearby as always to give him knife safety lessons, even though he knows all about it by now. He is already becoming a little foodie.

I made this recipe. I then made the really scrumptious decision to put the rest of the strawberries in the blender with sour cream and maple syrup...and pour the creamy mixture into popsicle trays. Those are going to be really incredible tomorrow. The crisp was pretty amazing as well.

If you are wondering why I made a wheat free recipe it is because I am going wheatless for awhile to see if my bloating stops. I have been having some odd health issues and my gut instinct is that it is a wheat allergy. So, I will be doing a lot of gluten free cooking which so far is a lot of fun and feels healthier to me. After a few days of eating no wheat my energy level is a little better and I don't feel quite as depressed. The bloating is still there. We will have to feel it out and see if it does it for me.

Anyway, If it is strawberry season where you live, what are you doing with them? Please give me some strawberry love!

-Hannah

Beautiful Solstice...

2011-06-22T16:30:00.000-07:00

Summer Solstice was so beautiful this year. We spent it in full worship of the sun and earth. A hike up Jay peak in the morning followed by a bonfire/traditional burning of the Winter Solstice tree in the evening. The day was beautiful, the sun was in full glory and we just enjoyed all of it together. Summer is here folks, it truly is here.

Two Fun finds = A Very organized Dressup Corner....

2011-06-20T16:31:00.000-07:00

Until now our dress up area was in a far from organised state. They have quite a lot of outfits and accessories and they were basically shoved into three smallish baskets, which caused a serious mess every time they tried to find what they wanted to wear.

At the ReStore in Burlington (a one man's trash, another man's treasure sort of place) we came across this wood peg thing, which Harvest painted yellow. It will be used for random dress up crowns and necklaces and things that would easier to find if hung up. One dollar.

And at the Waterbury flea market we found this large antique crate (1920's) for 30 bucks for the bulk of the dress up things. I love that it has no top and that it is large enough for them to climb into if they wish. I think it is so neat, and the perfect size too. Heck, their dress up clothes only fill it a little over halfway.

Now look at their dress up corner. The peg thing is in the closet to the left with a mirror next to it (so they can see themselves in costume of course) and the dress up box is just outside the closet. Play silks are kept in that red basket next to the box. They LOVE their new space. Believe you me, these little lovelies dress up so often that they need a special corner dedicated to it.

And this is where they sleep for half of the night. Mattresses pushed together so that they can sleep together. So sweet. Sorry for the dimness, this room is brighter in person. They are missing some curtains. I am still in the process of finding a fabric to make the perfect ones. I am thinking a simple white or cream color. What do you think?

Anyway, I am in the process of organising and simplifying our home. This means lots of throwing away and giving away of things. I really NEED to own less things.

Beach Day...

2011-06-15T14:32:00.000-07:00

Sweaty hair, sun kissed skin, sandy feet and some peaceful afternoon dreams from our first beach day of the season that we shared with good friends. This little girl completely wore herself out playing on the beach, along with her very happy big brother. Many more wonderful beach days are to come. Maybe next time we will bring the camera along for the ride.

Happy Wednesday!

Simple Beauty

2011-06-14T13:59:00.000-07:00

Just sharing some beauty that I captured with my camera today.

The Blessing of Two

2011-06-13T10:29:00.000-07:00

It was winter of 2007 and we were starting to worry that little Harvest (then 15 months old) was going to be lonely without a sibling. Living way out here in Northern Vermont can feel isolating, for anybody. We hadn't yet decided if we would have more than one...but I felt that we would regret it if we had only Harvest. And...I really wanted to give Harvest the gift of a sibling. It really is a gift you know, one that they will both be so thankful for in all the years to come. Especially when Andy and I have passed on and they are living their lives without us.

On Winter Solstice we were having dinner with friends and we brought up the discussion of having another. They felt very adamant that Harvest should have a sibling and the sooner the better because "Even though the first year is harder, when they get older it is great to have them closer in age." I had already decided to go for it, but they said what I needed to hear to make it happen.

So, we went home and put Harvest to bed. Ten minutes later we were pregnant! The easiest part was over...(exaggeration of time for humor purposes of course)

We decided to have this baby in our own home, and to have Harvest present for the birth if everything were to run smoothly. We felt that this should be an experience for the whole family...and that maybe it would help with Harvests transition from ~~being the only one~~ to being one of two.

On Friday, September 12 sweet Esther Maple came into the world. It was miraculously smooth, with 2 year old Harvest watching contentedly while I caught his little sister and brought her up to my chest. I still remember that I looked at his face before I looked at hers, and he had the most angelic look of peace on his face with his little hands grasping the side of the birth tub. He came right around to where I was holding her and started taking her in. I was so thankful that he was there for her joyous birth. To this day, he still remembers snippets of that day and feels happy whenever we talk about it. I hope he always remembers it, especially if he decides to be a father someday.

Our very difficult process of integrating another child began pretty quickly. Once reality set in, Harvest was not happy about Esther's arrival. He would cry and tell us to put her back where she came from. He was constantly trying to hurt her. I literally had to change all of her diapers on the kitchen counter, because it was the only surface too high for him to reach. If I laid her down anywhere else he would RUN over to inflict pain on her. When I had her in the sling I had to always make sure that her legs were tucked in because if one was dangling out he would bite it. This lasted a really long time. I cried everyday for a year. Bonding was hard! Esther screamed constantly, and Harvest was always aggressive even to his friends and to us. I didn't have much help if any.

I call it the year from hell.

Even the year following it was hard. Harvest continued to spend his days tormenting Esther. Pushing her, hitting her, biting her...the list goes on. Very stressful for the mama who just wanted peace and harmony. I of course had a scattegory of thoughts. I felt sad for Harvest, and our bond that was suffering because of all of this. I worried about his self esteem because he always felt like a bad boy and he was too little to know what to do to make it better. I felt SO terrible for poor little Esther who was always being tormented by her brother and sorrowful for the bonding that she and I never got to have at first. I wanted her to be able to just nurse and be with her mama like Harvest got to do in his beginning. I just wanted to enjoy both of them but I didn't really get to enjoy either of them! Not to mention I felt resentful toward both of them for various reasons. All the while, Esther just kept screaming.

I think the situation slowly improved. It must have been really slow because I didn't notice much of a change. Whenever people asked about how the siblings got along I would tell them frankly that they were not a good match just yet.

Yesterday Andy and I noticed a really dramatic change, and I realised that the sibling rivalry was at a normal level. They play together. They talk. Harvest teaches Esther things, and Esther really looks up to him. We catch them hugging and kissing and saying really sweet things to each other. Harvest gazes at her with adoration. They laugh together constantly-even at the expense of their parents. Something happened.

They grew together.

I felt so at peace yesterday and so thankful for our two precious treasures. I went on our computer and found so many pictures of the two of them posing together or playing together. I wanted to share a few.

We still have our fair share of difficulties...but nothing we can't handle. I know there will always be some rivalry and I am fine with that.

I am now feeling so very thankful for the blessings that come from having two, and I know that they are grateful for each other. I pray that they are always close, because nothing is like the bond between two siblings who ripened inside the same womb and grew up experiencing life side by side sharing everything...especially the adoration and worship that came from the same two parents. They will share memories abound, while also being so incredibly different from each other. We celebrate all of those differences.

I would love to hear some of your stories about having more than one. Please do share!

Simple, but true

2011-06-09T16:46:00.000-07:00

I am feeling really good. We got our whole garden in, and for the first time ever, we utilised our very own homemade compost. It is one of the more beautiful things we have ever made, and it was so simple. What could be better than something made of waste (food scraps, garden junk, leaves and poultry manure) that provides nourishment to our garden?

Just look at it! Deep brown beautiful earth with broken up egg shells throughout and the occasional nut or peach pit! I know I have odd pleasures, but what can I say. It is simple, but so true.

These days I am a busy hard working mama, gardener and homemaker. My days end with dirty garden feet (another odd pleasure of mine), sun-kissed skin and happy kids.

Summer is upon us, and we are feeling it!

Family Hike to Brusseau Mountain...

2011-06-06T04:32:00.000-07:00

Today we went on a wonderful family hike. Fairly easy (in my opinion) but beautiful views and a steep overlook at the top.

Poor Harvest was feeling afraid at first, but after a little while we were able to coax him over to enjoy the views with us.

What is that we see?

A peregrine falcon!

And another!

We sat for quite awhile in amazement at this gift from nature. A whole family of falcons soaring through the air right before our very eyes....that and the incredible view that we were already enjoying. Wow. What a beautiful overlook, and a wonderful time we had there.

We went home and planted our tomato seedlings into the warm earth, and now we are expected at a good friends house for dinner.

Thousands...

2011-06-05T13:09:00.000-07:00

Better than a thousand statements

composed of meaningless words

is a single meaningful word which,

having been heard, brings peace.

-The Dhammapada

2011-06-04T18:43:00.000-07:00

Friday we Harvested some rhubarb and made a very yummy crumble. The kids (as always when pertaining to the garden) were very excited to help.

And today, my mum and I went thrift shopping together and I came home with this very fun find. As you can imagine, the kids were VERY thrilled.

And, coffee bag puppets. COFFEE BAG PUPPETS! Honestly, I cannot tell you how many of these we have made. Fortunately for the kids, I go through about two bags a week...so there is a steady supply in their arts and crafts cubby, along with googly eyes, yarn, popsicle sticks, pom poms, and buttons. LOADS of buttons. Very fun!

I love the wool moostash. (Spelled the way we say it)

And another use for coffee bags! I finally saved enough dark roast bags to trade in for a stainless steel thermos. Vermont Coffee Company has a really cool points and rewards system. I like the word thermos.

Maybe I drink too much coffee.

Whatever helps, right?

Excuse the randomness.

An answer...

2011-06-02T16:19:00.000-07:00

I am going to share something personal...because I feel moved to.

I seem to suffer from anxiety from time to time and it is almost always money related. We have it better than most, but because of the choice we have made to keep me home with the children we live on a pretty tight budget...if you could even call it that. I am the one in charge of finances, which can feel like a heavy burden sometimes...and it tends to weigh on me.

The past two nights I have had a hard time sleeping because I lay awake thinking about a couple $ predicaments...and today I woke up really feeling it. The anxiety I carried today was debilitating. I couldn't focus, I couldn't engage properly with the kids and my heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest. Even when I brought Harvest to preschool and Esther took a nap...even in the quiet house I couldn't relax or focus. After getting a few things done I had 20 minutes until I had to pick up Harvest and I decided to meditate/pray.

I went out onto the deck, because I wanted it to be as close to the forces as possible, and carried in the wind far and wide. The wind was strong, and the air was thick with the sounds of rustling leaves, the fast moving stream and whatever else was happening in nature at the moment. I felt like a small speck in the vast Universe, but I felt strong and important. I knew that I needed to speak for others, rather than myself and I delivered an incredibly powerful prayer and felt each word come forth from me...and I also felt it received somehow.

I prayed for others. I prayed for world hunger, and tragedy and everyone who is less fortunate than myself. I thanked the forces for the comfortable life that we live in comparison to what others live with and for our good luck, love, family, support, joy, and beauty-which is so a part of our regular life. I prayed that I would always feel that thankfulness, even when I get caught up in money stresses-which fortunately is about all I deal with. The one thing I wanted for myself, was to be relieved of my anxiety for the day. To be able to be humbled by all that I have, and to feel at peace.

I woke Esther up, picked Harvest up, picked Andy up and came home.

The phone rang.

It was a loved one (who had no idea of the day I had) who was calling to offer some amazing support that would help with two of the things I was worried about financially. I know it was an answer to my prayer. I know that I was humble, and good. I know that my prayer reached its destination and the forces once again granted me an act of godly intervention and maybe even karma.

I want to say that every day lately has been amazing. Today was the one day that was hard, it was the one day that I prayed and needed an answer, and I know in my heart that the answer came. It truly inspired me, truly brought me to tears of joy...but really the joy was more from finally knowing there is a spiritual entity/or force as I like to call it that saw and heard me. Truthfully, the help brought peace and comfort, but the spiritual growth that occurred within me was divine.

I have grown spiritually a lot in the past year, but today was the first day that I knew I was answered and I felt "god" whoever or whatever that force may be.

The anxiety is lessened (even when those stresses are still very much there) and yes of course I feel thankful. Truly, divinely thankful.

Time to herself...

2011-06-01T17:37:00.000-07:00

In the afternoons (for the past month or a little more?) Esther Maple has had four afternoons a week to herself. It is only for a couple hours, but it means the world to her. Sometimes she wants to spend it with mama, and a lot of the time she just plays quietly all by herself. She loves having that time so much to recharge with nobody gettin in her business. I am speaking mainly of Harvest George-Space Invader. We love having him around, but space is so good for both of them.

Here she is playing with Harvest's special doll "Ruby the boy" made by Auntie Melanie on his second birthday.

Esther has her own special dollies but when Harvest is not around, he doesn't snatch Ruby the boy away saying "Ruby is my special doll!" So in Esthers mind, it is the perfect time to play with this sweet boy doll.

Since she still views herself as a very wee one, she doesn't just put her baby doll's in the cradle. She likes to get right in with them. She IS quite little still, and I am so glad for that. What can I do but just savour it? After all, the wee years are over in a wink of time.

A garden for Esther...

2011-05-31T16:20:00.000-07:00

Some of you may remember Harvests special big boy garden we helped him create a couple years ago....

Every year he gets to choose what he wants to grow and nurture.

This year Esther is ready for a garden of her own...

And she feels so good growing her own plants. She loves so much to feel independent, and this is such a healthy way for us to nurture that. Letting her nurture something else. She is growing strawberries (of course) sun gold cherry tomatoes, marigolds, petunias (I can't believe how hilarious that word is), calendula...am I missing something? You get the idea. All sweet lovely little plants for our sweet lovely girl.

Harv just loves to run around and pretend he is a bird with silks tied to his wrists. The garden is the best place. He has always done this.

This was yesterday. We thought it would be a great thing for them to do while we got some gardening done. It was a wonderful thought.

Chives grow on either side of our porch, Harvests sweet feet in the background.

Our lilacs attract many bee's and butterflies...two very precious garden dwellers.

Last but not least. Little hands helping to prepare our famous homemade flatbread's made into quesadillas for dinner. We eat these so often.

Some great moments caught on camera.

This is Harvests last week at preschool and we are sort of worried about how we are going to keep him busy this summer. Maybe the fact that we are outside all the time will make everything ok? We will see. I had a funny moment today. As I was picking him up from the school I heard the 1-2 graders practicing for tonight's "music" concert. I couldn't even force a smile. They were basically all belting out the most played song on Northeast Kingdom radio. It was a horrible song. I hated it so much. As a musical person raised in a very musical family, I would hope that the "music" teacher would lead the children in singing some lovely classic tunes. Nope! I completely put my foot in my mouth and asked one of the teachers if this is what the kids sing in music class, the most popular (horrid) radio songs. She was a little uncomfortable and I told her that I would make sure that if our kids came to the school in the future, we would skip whatever day "music" is held on. We can do a much better job at home. I seriously wanted to pick up my children and run out like a crazy person, never to be seen again. Public school, Eish! We will take it as it comes.

Anyway, we are doing well. It is gardening season, and the weather is gorgeous!

Spring Blessings!

Friday at home...

2011-05-29T16:36:00.000-07:00

Friday was an all day at home day. Although there was a fair share of bickering, temper tantrums and space invasions, we also had a lot of fun just being together in our home.

I so love and embrace any artistic interest. I especially love watercolor painting, because it is so fun to see the colors that they choose, and how they combine on the paper. Harvest almost always goes for black, and Esther tends to choose every color but black. Harvests pictures take shape, and Esthers are swirls and blotches of color. Both are equally as wonderful to cherish and save.

We played outside, even though it was wet and drizzling.

When Andy came home he photographed the apple blossoms in our yard that bring me so much joy this time of year.

And our backyard visitor. These incredible draft horses hang out in the fields all around our yard. I am terrified of them, even though I know they are docile and sweet. Andy goes right up and pats them on the head.

And...in case you wanted something to brighten your day...this boy sure keeps me giggling.

We had a great Friday, and a great weekend! How was yours?